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There’s not stopping it. Once September rolls around the elusive pumpkin-flavored everything returns. Pumpkin spiced lattes, pumpkin beers, and all the pumpkin baked goods you can scarf down before retiring the flavor for another year. People simply go ga-ga for pumpkin. While I personally detest all things pumpkin flavored – even actual pumpkins – I can’t deny pumpkin spice products has its own cult following.
There is such a thing, however, as taking it too far. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these 15 absurd pumpkin flavored and scented items. From ridiculous to down-right unacceptable, I think you’ll agree, pumpkin should have its limits.
Did Starbucks invent pumpkin spice? Not at all but the coffee company brought PSL into our hearts (and tummies), starting the trend of adding limited-edition pumpkin spice flavor to everything from cheesecake and donuts to ice cream and Pop-Tarts.
For those wondering, most pumpkin spice flavored items (including the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte) do not contain real pumpkin but rather spices you would normally find in pumpkin pie such as allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves.
Weird Pumpkin Spice Foods You Didn’t Know You Needed
1. Pumpkin Spice Almonds
Salted and sugared almonds are perfectly fine, but Blue Diamond pumpkin spice almonds? I’m not sure how I feel about this. I wouldn’t be surprised if pumpkin spice pecans existed or worse, pumpkin spice pumpkin seeds!
2. Pumpkin Pie Spice Pringles
Pringles likes to come up with some clever flavors. There’s the pizza, crab, wasabi mayo, and even ramen. Pumpkin Pie Spice, however, now that’s just taking it too far. Once you pop these Pringles, you will definitely be able to stop. It’s a seasonal flavor, I get it, but you don’t have to put it in everything.
3. Brach’s Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn
I’ve got a great idea, let’s make candy corn taste even worse by throwing in pumpkin spice. Oh, wait, it looks like they already beat me to it.
This is a mean trick. I should have chosen treat.
4. Pumpkin Spice Hummus
I’m all for trying different hummus flavors. Beet, jalapeño, and cilantro, artichoke, and feta, but pumpkin spice? You just made my heart cry.
Try our Roasted Pumpkin Hummus for a better savory flavor perfect for pretzels. Not any of this pumpkin spice season mess.
5. KFC Pumpkin and Feta Twister
If you thought KFC chicken scented candles were ridiculous, then wait until you bite into a crispy, crunchy pumpkin and feta chicken twister. That’s finger lickin’ gross.
6. Pumpkin Spice Latte Burger
Noooooooooopppe. RT @Gothamist: Umami Introduces A Pumpkin Spice Latte Burger http://t.co/X9MhnUfkyz pic.twitter.com/Nijo1ct46a
— Dr Becca, PhD ? (@doc_becca) November 3, 2014
If you’ve never had an Umami burger, let me preface by saying they make a tasty burger. Don’t be fooled by the looks of this burger, however, it’s a pumpkin spice latte burger.
Whatever evil force possessed them to come up with this pumpkin-flavored burger is beyond me. While I have yet to try it, something tells me there’s a reason it hasn’t reared its ugly head in a few years.
7. Twinkies Pumpkin Spice
Don’t get me wrong, I love Twinkies. Especially chocolate peanut butter. But if the banana cream filling doesn’t sound good-which let’s face it, artificial banana is never good -then can you imagine a pumpkin spice-infused Twinkies cream? Uhhh, shivers just ran up my spine. Keep this fall flavor to yourself.
8. PEEP’s Pumpkin Spice Latte
There is one time a year and one time a year only when it’s acceptable to eat PEEP’s, and that’s Easter. Even then these gooey, sugar-coated weird chick-shaped marshmallows still taste gross.
So while they may think coating them in chocolate may make them more appetizing, you can’t mask the flavor of pumpkin spice.
9. Breath Palette Toothpaste
The Crest pumpkin spice flavored toothpaste may be a joke, but this isn’t. You can actually buy toothpaste that tastes like pumpkin pudding.
Did I mention this brand also sells one that leaves your mouth fresh full of the flavor of Indian Curry? Seriously, I’m not making this up.
10. Pumpkin Spice Soap on a Rope
Soap on a rope, meet pumpkin spice. You can not only eat your spice and brush your teeth with it, but you can bathe in all its pumpkin-y glory.
11. One DTQ Pumpkin Spice Beard Oil
After your done washing away the stench of the day and replacing it with the pungent odor of your pumpkin spice soap on a rope, you can oil up your beard with a matching scent.
12. Native Pumpkin Spiced Latte Deodorant
You know what we don’t need? To smell like a spiced up sweaty pumpkin. Pumpkin plus BO? No, no I do not want my pits to smell like a pumpkin spiced latte.
13. Espree Pumpkin Spice Dog Shampoo
What did your pup ever do to you? Sure, they may have peed on the rug and tried to bite the mailman, but does that mean you should bathe them in pumpkin spice?
14. Adam’s Pumpkin Spice Detail Spray
Hate the smell of your musky car? Well then boy, will you love the scent of this pumpkin spice detail. Wait, hold on, no, no you probably won’t. But if you do, you’ll be happy to know you can use it inside your house.
15. Simply Beyond Pumpkin Spray on Spice
This is simply absurd. Rather than using real spices, you can spray the flavor of pumpkin spice unto whatever it is you’re using. Kind of like perfume, you can coat your food in this wafting scent. Whatever happened to just using good old-fashioned pumpkin spice?
16. Pumpkin Spice Flavor Greenies
Even your furry friends can enjoy the spice of the season with these dog treats!
17. Pumpkin Spice Nitro Cold Brew Coffee
Move over Dunkin, this pumpkin spice coffee comes nitro brewed, making it smooth as silk.
18. Philadelphia Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese Spread
Add a hint of spice to your morning bagel!
While they made not have made the list because quite frankly, they aren’t real, the idea of pumpkin spice KFC Fried Chicken, Spam, and Tampax may be the worst pumpkin-themed ideas out there. Let’s just pray they never come into existence.
But what about the good? I can get behind General Mills Pumpkin Spice cheerios or International Delight Pumpkin Pie Spice Creamer. Heck, even Pillsbury pumpkin cinnamon rolls. My limit ends there though.